Archive

All posts by category
CNN Is Ready For The Apocalypse

CNN Is Ready For The Apocalypse

by January 8, 2015 0 comments

During the apocalypse what will you be doing? Fleeing from falling buildings? Trying to get underground to survive a nuclear blast? Running from zombies or fire or zombies on fire?

Wait, one more guess! You’re going to be at home watching CNN. Right? That’s the one isn’t it?

Apparently a long speculated and mythologized video has emerged from the network via an ex-employee. The video is supposedly what CNN is  to play at the end of the world. The 30-year-old footage was pasted on a Gawker site in an attempt to dispel the legend that there are any “good” news networks.

Oh, because I thought every time CNN goes to its Twitter feed, that that is what good  journalism looks like (Who am I to criticize anyone? See: Current Article).

If you do watch the clip, what you are hearing is the song that historians speculate was played on the Titanic as it sank; a hymn entitled “Nearer My God to Thee.” Ted Turner, the owner of CNN, once joked in an interview about the hymn being played on the network, because CNN would be broadcasting until the very end of human existence. Considering the video has come to us all the way from the 1980s, it’s understood that the intention of the footage is be played during a nuclear attack, which would give the network time to prepare.

Ted Turner, the owner of CNN, once joked in an interview that the hymn would be played on the network at the end of the world. He said that CNN would be broadcasting until human existence ceases.

Considering the video has come to us all the way from the 1980s, it’s understood that the intention of the footage is be played during a nuclear attack (cold war, anyone?), which would give the network time to prepare the tape.

Zombies aren’t going to wait for you to figure out how to set the VCR, though.

It’s doubtful anyone in any apocalyptic scenario would be watching CNN or any television really. Somebody will probably be watching Fox News, and they’ll be saying that the end of the world is just liberal propaganda.  If you turn on CSNBC at the end of times, you’ll find an economist describing how the upcoming year will be the lowest fiscal year in economic history. Adult Swim will likely be broadcasting a Family Guy marathon so we can all go out on a fart joke.

 

[Via Break.com]

 

No Comments so far

Jump into a conversation

No Comments Yet!

You can be the one to start a conversation.

Only registered users can comment.